Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at [email protected]).
I’m getting kind of tired of hearing from dudes who obsess over their dick size. They’re either bragging about how big it is or complaining how much they’d like an extra inch or two. While I’m not naive to think that I can’t please a woman with a very average penis, it got me thinking: Do gay men glorify large penises just as much as straight men do? – Riley, San Diego, CA
Like the rainbow (to keep things thematic and for lack of a better comparison), gay men are obviously very aware that dicks come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. On one hand, there is an appreciation for this level of diversity — a penis for every palate, if you will — but I’d be lying if I said that every gay would be content with an average-sized schlong in the bedroom. It’s simply not the case.
Big dick lovers typically fall into two different categories: size queens and fellow big dick owners. The former are exclusively attracted to larger members, almost fetishizing their existence, and are typically bottoms who prefer a more subordinate sexual role.
In internet porn, both amateur and professional, you may hear them say things like „stretch my hole“ or „give it to me deep.“ They won’t settle for anything less than girthy and 9 inches, which eliminates most of us plebeians who are 5 inches strong (the average size) and simply happy it works.
The latter, on the other hand, know that they’re swinging something special and get off to guys who possess the same trait. I can’t even begin to tell you how many Grindr users post „hung4hung“ or „XL for XL“ in their search for similarly-built guys. It’s like some sort of exclusive group, like The Baby-Sitters Club, and average or below-average need not apply.
I do want to reiterate, however, that there are no hard (literally) and fast rules here. While the allure of big peens does exist, treating them almost if they’re mythical creatures or circus show oddities, many gays are also aware of two realities: They’re harder to suck and they’re harder to stick in a butt. So sometimes a big dick *isn’t* ideal, especially for those of us who steer clear of anal sex altogether (otherwise known as sides).
This doesn’t mean there is a lack of judgment when a penis is shockingly small (we’re shady bitches, after all), but I do think there is a higher level of acceptance in the gay community because it’s two partners who share the same anatomy.
I don’t think women quite understand the depths of insecurity that a less-endowed man may feel (and will absolutely not vocalize in fear of sounding weak or less masculine), but I also want to reassure said man that most women also don’t care if you come up, well, a little short, so long as the chemistry is still there.
At the end of the day, yes…people care. And a lot of gay men especially care. But if someone is going to eliminate you as a potential romantic partner due to your size, then they’re not the one for you. In the wise words of our queen, Ariana Grande, „thank u, next.“ They’re just not worth it.
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