The Holding Pattern

COVID really did a number on us, hey? Back in April I was really hoping the housemate (also the ex-bf) would be moving out. We hadn’t been getting along for some time, and things were getting worse and worse.

For my own sanity I started seeing a shrink, and that’s helped a lot – but it’s also help me put a lot of things into perspective, including the behaviours I’m putting up with that shouldn’t be. This irked the housemate, and he started looking for his own place quick. In fact, he disappeared for a week or so and I didn’t see him at all. Only recently he came back home, and, to a degree, with his tail between his legs and a new attitude to boot.

Yesterday he came home and really made a show how happy he was to see me, and tonight when his friend’s asked him to come over, he talked it through with me about how he felt bad for leaving me home alone (me: “Honestly, go. I didn’t even think you’d be home.”)

I still want him to move out – we broke up 5-6 months ago now; but, a part of me still wonders if there’s something there.

Someone shoot me.

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