Have you ever really liked a guy, but he never appreciated you or saw you in a romantic way?
You might think it’s because you’re not beautiful or smart enough or your job isn’t fancy-pants enough for him. But honestly, value has very little to do with these surface-level things.
Value is a perception. It’s all about how you act, the energy you put out there, and the boundaries you set.
Here are 6 ways to be a high-value woman that men desire.
Recognize your value
If you don’t believe you’re high value, no one else will!
I spoke to a client the other day who is a super successful 46-year-old writer living in NYC.
She asked me, “why would anyone want to date me?”
And I said, “you’re right; why would anyone want to date you.”
*Shocked face* Oh no, he didn’t…
If you don’t believe you’re high value or that any man would be lucky to date you, you will automatically lower your value and send out a signal that only attracts losers.
When you raise your value in your eyes, you will no longer accept low-value behavior and will start attracting high-value men.
It all starts with you.
Be comfortable just being imperfect
When someone tries to be perfect all the time, it feels like they’re wearing a mask. You never quite get the sense that you know who they truly are. Everything feels cold, awkward, and yucky.
Compare this to when you meet someone comfortable with their imperfection. For example, maybe they snort when they laugh or embrace their clumsiness when they spill water all over the table at dinner.
It’s so much easier to like imperfect people because they’re relatable. None of us are perfect. We all have flaws, and we all make mistakes. Embracing that makes people like you more.
So the next time you’re out meeting new people, be comfortable being your authentic self.
You don’t need to hide who you are.
Make men earn your affection
A study showed that we are inclined to like people more if they start off disliking us, then warm to us over time.
Because we had to earn their friendship, trust, and respect. It wasn’t easy, so it was far more satisfying when we finally got there.
This applies to everything in life.
Let’s say you go on a first date with a guy. You don’t know him. He could be a total psycho. You’re right to be wary and take it slow.
But you grow to like him more over time and invest more time and energy in him. This makes him value you more because he has to earn your affection and win you over.
And if he doesn’t invest in you and try to earn your affection? Time to say, “NEXT!”
Set boundaries of what’s acceptable behavior from men
Another client of mine had gone out with this guy a handful of times, and she really liked him.
But one day, he randomly turned up at her door, completely out of the blue. And she didn’t know how to handle it.
I told her to tell him something to the tune of, “I really enjoy spending time with you (his name), but in the future, can you please let me know when you’re coming by because I like to make plans.”
This is her setting a boundary. A high-value woman is not afraid to set those boundaries.
Now it’s time to see if he respects it or oversteps it.
Low-value men will try to control you and constantly push your boundaries. But high-value men don’t want to be with women they can walk all over.
Always remember you have walking power
This is not about walking away anytime you have a hiccup in your relationship. But if you’ve tried to fix it and make it work and the connection isn’t working, remember you can walk away any time. You can always go back to Little Love Step #1 and start again.
A high-value woman carries this in the back of her mind and makes her act differently when dating.
Men can sense that they will lose you if they don’t step up in the relationship. And if he isn’t stepping up, he deserves to lose you.
High-value women meet high-value men in high-value places
In case you don’t know, nightclubs and local dive bars are terrible places to meet high-value men!
Think about where high-value men spend time in your local area.
Maybe they attend philanthropic community events, hang out at the golf or tennis club, or head to elite singles events.
If you always meet low-value men, you’re not spending time in the right places!
Surround yourself with high-value men, and you’ll end up with a high-value man.